"Uh..."

Every panel is funny today. Every beat is a perfect measure, musical in precision.

"Uh, Liz?" is such a shitty opening for a come-on; it's unusual because it's real and recognizable, unlike Jon's usual gooniness which is an over-the-top placeholder for our own awkwardness.

"Yes?": Really, it's Liz's expression. "Uh, Liz?" is only two words, but they're so exact they can only mean one thing: you're gonna get totally, earnestly hit-upon. For whatever motivations of her own, Liz is happy about this, and that promise is what will fuel this joke. Because sometimes all you have to say is "Uh, Liz?", witness the scrunched expression of panic and cornered dismay. And that expression, my dear ones, is not funny in the least.

Jon, Panel 2: Jon and Garfield's poses are unwavering today, but the shades of meaning are like a rainbow. Well, a three-color rainbow. Here the eager confidence chills in Jon's chest, and though they're the same circles and dots, I swear I can see them glaze over with sick green fear.

Liz, Panel 2: And yes, Liz's face registers the shift between thinking Jon is sweet and deeply weird, but the sudden retraction of her hand from Garfield's back seals the deal: she wants so little to do with Jon that even touching his cat feels wrong.

Liz, Panel 3: There's not much space in Garfield for timing, but the disappearance of Liz is sudden enough for a laugh, and evocative. Did she run? No, she backed away slowly.

"I choked, didn't I?": Could be Jon blacked out in panel two. Could be he is in denial. Could be he wants confirmation because he really has no idea if Liz's terrified escape means he succeeded or not. Could be Jon doesn't even know what reaction he wanted. I'm happy with any of the above, because the laugh-aloud is Jon's frozen grimace and wide-eyed terror at what he's done. Hooray!

Garfield's punchline: Yeah, I laughed again.

Pussycat Pussycat Where Have You Been?

The best detail in this strip is Garfield rotating his head to listen to the conversation of two people standing two feet apart.

Panel three: Is it more insulting or pathetic that Jon thinks he can convince Liz that an appointment written in a notebook can be spontaneously cancelled? Myself I'm surprised that Jon owns a daily planner at all. My calendar just says "read Garfield" every day.

What does Garfield's coy smile mean? I'd like to think it's a timely Tale of Two Kitties reference, and because of Garfield's well-known animosity towards the royals, he's glad the Queen cancelled.

So... Panel one: Is Liz about to ask Jon out, before he gets too eager and blows it? Or am I suffering from the same delusions as Jon? It's not because I'm a Jon/Liz 'shipper. I just like the idea of Liz, who knows exactly what kind of bad investment Jon is, making herself unhappy by dating him anyway. Because the lifestuff of tragedy is the dried blood of comedy.

BL BL BL BL BL

Sometimes this dog has a bad rash, sometimes "he's fine." Also he looks like a brown cousin of Dennis the Menace's dog, Ruff, but I wouldn't worry about that... too much. I will be awake all night worrying about it for you.

For those not nerdy enough to know, the strip is a swipe of the hysterical ending of the 1945 Bugs Bunny cartoon "Hare Tonic", in which Bugs convinces Elmer he's come down with "Rabbititis", for no more reason than tormenting the poor bastard. "Hare Tonic" holds a special place in my heart because it disproves the older Chuck Jones' misguided theory that Bugs only reacts to those who have wronged him, and is never an aggressor: in "Hare Tonic", Bugs tortures Elmer for no offense at all. The young Jones and Jim Davis know that pure impish meanness is funnier than just desserts.

The title panel shows similar nasty Garfield behavior: he's either too lazy to move the pillows off the couch, or too arrogant to obstruct a view of his name, even for physical comfort.

Weird Three Stooges reference in final panel adds little besides making me retroactively give the dog a Curly Howard voice.

My Cat's Name is Nobody

Panel three is rife with mystery today. Why are the woman and her pet baby fox reacting with such fear to Garfield? Why draw such a hideous and distracting character? What kind of person is that woman supposed to be? Is there Jem and the Holograms cosplay afoot in Garfield? Misguided tribute to Divine?

Not that the off-stage conversation in the first two panels is hard for me to follow or anything, but at first glance there's no reason to "know" who is speaking. I didn't think for a second that Jon was asking Liz where her cat is. Not for a second.

Please, Jim Davis, give me more Garfield with as much blank space as depicted in today's opening panels. Also more punchlines about the alienation of modern man, such as our hero staring into the eyes of a terrified stranger and silently pleading that she understand his loss of personal identity.

Eat the Birds/ Tuppence, Tuppence

Finally, Pikachu make the cover of Vet. It's a pretty classy magazine, published at the human-torso proportions usually reserved for W and Interview.

Garfield, though already dreading his vet appointment, is willing to make himself sick just to eat a bird. Does he eat the bird because it is a cat's nature? Does he eat the bird because we'd all like to eat that guy who won't stop making noise in the quiet waiting room? I think Garfield eats the bird because he knows it may make him ill, may get Jon in trouble, may prolong his visit to the doctor, but can't help it. Given the expression on Garfield's face, he gets no pleasure from this act. And in this way, perhaps we all sometimes Eat the Bird.

The Lost Skeleton of Cat-avra

Yes Garfield, not "I hope I don't die", but "I hope you brought a snack."

Panel One: We already know what Dr. Wilson's receptionist, Nel, looks like, so why not show her? A) her appearance was just a punchline sight gag about how ugly she is, and seeing her in this context might be distracting. B) the panel's a little crowded for Garfield as it is. C) it's easier not to deal with people's reactions to seeing a cat walk on its hind legs.

Panel Two: It's an unfair complaint to criticize comics reality which I always allow to warp reality to best tell a joke. The zoom-in reveal places the skeleton closer to Garfield than it could have been in panel one, but that's totally okay. Not-okay is that the skeleton - smaller than Garfield, and without a tail - seems to be that of a baby hippo.

Panel Three: I'd like to think Garfield doesn't think a mere snack can save him, and has just accepted that the waiting room shall be his death chamber. He would've asked for a snack anyway.