Thursday, July 20, 2006

Ellen Autopsy


Whatever the outcome of this earth-shaking ten days of Garfield, today is a landmark. Today we see Ellen. For those not familiar with the beauty index of the Garf-verse, Ellen is a knockout. My personal tastes run more towards the Dr. Liz Wilsons of the world, but I can tell Ellen is supposed to be a 10. She is a 10 despite her Pat Benatar dress, despite her vintage Claire's plastic hoop earrings and choker, despite a huge hank of yellow hair scraping across her unlidded bug eyes. From now on, when you read past Jon-on-phone-to-Ellen strips, this is the blank-eyed visage on the other end off the line.

What's Ellen like? Chipper and weird.

Ah, the Garfield tag-along date. Used to be when Garfield wanted to check up on Jon, he'd have to disguise himself in chef's whites and sneak into the restaurant. Now they just seat him at the table as a matter of course. The orange fellow usually takes so little interest in Jon's love life, so he must sense that this could have serious ramifications. Or he thinks it will be funny to watch Jon take advantage of a woman with a brain disorder. Garfield is so interested in Ellen that he stops his back-and-forth head turning to focus his gaze on her stripey cleavage. Perhaps he's curious about Ellen's reaction to Jon's ploy, a lie, which like the finest of lies, totally fails to register with its target.

Note to today's colorist: JON ARBUCKLE'S PLAID SPORTS JACKET IS GREEN. Not yellow, never yellow. And his bowtie is yellow and purple. Do not screw this up again.

Jon's Horoscope: Day Three
Take command over your audience and demand the respect you deserve, even if you have to lie, cheat, and steal. Today's lucky number: 7

Ah 7, numerology's number of The Mind. Ellen's lost hers, and Jon is exerting his mental dominance over the woman, making 7 appropriate... but I'm not sure for whom it is "lucky".

Come to think of it, it's seeming less like these horoscopes offer "clues" to the unfolding story than "snide observations". Today Jon is simply offered advice from the Zodiac. That advice, an axiom after my own heart, is basically "be more like Garfield".

1 comment:

Mark Jake said...

I was going to comment on the color change as well. Maybe Jon's jacket and tie, like his shirt and phone, can simply change color like a mood ring. As for Liz's clothes, since she has amnesia, she probably found them in the closet (and the earrings in her jewelry box) and has no idea they're out of style. Besides, (although I'm not one for the blonds either), she looks good in them...