Ladies and gentlemen -- or more accurately, those in the audience who are not gentlemen -- I think we all know we're not looking at a hot fudge sundae. We're looking at the promise of easy Ellen-sex manifested in the form of a three-scoop ice cream dessert nightmare. And that, folks, is not a bad metaphor. It's so smart to provide a physical temptation for Garfield that puts him in the same dilemma as Jon, because otherwise his disinterest in human sex lives would render him useless as a foil for Jon in this story. Setting two characters with opposite moral genetic structures into similar moral conflicts, you have a great chance to illustrate something profound about humanity. It's the Garfield equivalent of Crimes and Misdemeanors.
Despite the unease created by the necessary middle-distance staging (gotta fit in those massive dialog balloons), I love the Jon pose in panel two, both for what he's articulating about his conflict and a brutal self-realization. Yes, A) does he take advantage of a sexy amnesiac?, but also B) the reason Jon realizes the situation is wrong, is because someone likes him. What a shattering moment, when we realize the default setting of the world is loneliness. So shattering it makes Jon grab his own eyeball.
And I'm going to lay it on the line, and say that though the Horoscope keeps prodding Jon to increasingly awful behavior, and though he's lapsed enough to get a date with Ellen under false pretenses, Jon will locate his scruples somewhere in the pocket of that plaid jacket, directly over his boring, miserable heart.
Jon's Horoscope: Day Four
In the gene pool of cool, you've been swimming in the shallow end, but at least you have your trusty water wings. Shape up, sailor! There's land ahoy! Today's lucky number: banana
God bless you, Jim Davis, for what looks to me like confirmation that the "lucky numbers" are just "fucking with you numbers".
That opening sentence is so baroque in metaphor that it's not worth breeching; is coolness genetic? What might be meant by one's water wings in a pool of cool? What support devices exist for maintaining a level of untrained cool?