Email My Friend I Said You'd Call Dr. Wilson

Garfield is the only strip that would try to whip readers into an anticipatory frenzy by foreshadowing something as mundane as a trip to the vet. I must confess the tactic works on me. It's been sooo long since we've seen Dr. Wilson ("Dr. Liz", Jon? Really!), and by Garfield standards she's pinup-worthy hot. She always injects a little laconic outsider wit into the weird Garfield/Jon dynamic, and a little S-E-X appeal into the G-A-RF world.

Since this is such a blockbuster event, we get a double-joke strip for the build up. In Joke A, Jon misconstrues that vet appointment reminders contain coded desire for his intimate company. In Joke B, Garfield counters Jon's excitement by remembering aloud that such visits for him mean only the physical violation of his body. In the third joke emerging from the synthesis of A and B's acid+base=noxious gas formula, the reader imagines Jon's clammy hands fondling Dr. Liz. The "foreign implements" I leave up to the foul and comics-page-unfriendly imaginations of Permanent Monday readers.

Panel three reminds us why we value Garfield above real cats. The actual feline is unable to contort his face to display such sickness and revulsion.

Note that the misplaced computer mouse has been eliminated after yesterday's gross technological violation. These are the days it becomes clear the PAWS, Inc. staff is using PerMon as a fact-checking tool. Perhaps they began this storyline to see if I will count the days since Liz's last appearance? I shall give them no such satisfaction.